


Thoughts to ponder

by jade_lil



Series: Thoughts to ponder [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Arashi - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His head was filled with shadows, of dark lines and even darker thoughts that he could barely think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Canon. Set around 2006, about 5 - 6 years after Arashi's debut

The kiss was expected, rehearsed, playful even – but this surely wasn’t.

“W-What are we doing?” he breathed out in a gasp, fingers clinging against the soft fabric of Ohno’s shirt, touch lingering a bit too long. 

He’s being shoved back against a wall, its surface was cold and hard against the thin material of his own shirt but he didn’t mind; not when there was a set of warm hands wrapping him into a tight embrace, and lips dragging across his collarbones, softly, tentatively. 

Ohno chose that moment to raise his head only to nip at his chin, lightly, almost teasingly. 

“Following through,” he murmured, digging his teeth against Nino’s chin. 

“What?” he found himself asking, “ – I don’t underst –“ 

“The kiss,” Ohno pointed out with a sweep of his tongue over Nino’s bottom lip, before he went back to peppering Nino’s jaw with gentle nips. 

His head was filled with shadows, of dark lines and even darker thoughts that he could barely think. “What?” 

“It’s not enough,” Ohno grumbled, holding his face firmly in place before his mouth was there, kissing him properly, breathing him in and stealing the air straight out from his lungs like he have all the right – like this was normal. 

He didn’t know what was normal anymore. 

He’s clinging unto Ohno’s arms for support, dizzy and a bit disoriented, and the heat of Ohno’s mouth was the only thing that mattered. 

Ohno sucked on his tongue and he dared not breathe, closed his eyes and brought his arms around Ohno’s neck, pulling him in. 

He’d think about it later.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one faked kiss and now they’re here, eating each other’s faces like they couldn’t get enough of each other.

The crowd’s deafening scream prompted them to separate just as quickly, even though the tingling sensation remained and his mouth felt full and bruised.

Ohno’s looking at him like he wanted to say something, but the director’s voice cut through the earsplitting screams, thus prompting them both to action. 

The lights went out but the screaming resumed. “Costume change, let’s go, let’s go!” the wardrobe director howled from below, and he found himself moving on autopilot, still mostly dazed for his brain to work properly. 

A hand grasped for his own, firmly tugging him at the same time he rounded the corner to the dressing area, his heart still beating furiously against his chest. He was turned on the spot, warm mouth finding his, swallowing his surprised hisses and practically stealing his breathe; his fingers moved to cling, to maybe push the man away, but found it difficult to do anything other than to grab the man’s shoulder, and moaned. 

He moaned, _god_ , he moaned, simply because he couldn’t help it – because maybe, he’d been waiting for this to happen. The other’s tongue swiped across his bottom lip and he’d be stupid not to know what it wanted, probing him to open up, requesting to be let in, and he did. 

“Two minutes!” someone yelled and they both jumped, barely managing to pull away from each other, both gasping, both breathing hard. 

Nino’s face was equally part-amazed, part-wanting, and it took him all of his remaining strength not to grab Ohno by the shoulder and kiss him quiet again. 

Ohno, on the other hand, was not as strong as he thought he was. 

He’s grabbing him by the shirt the next second, mashing their mouths together in a kiss so scandalous he didn’t even know how to describe it; Ohno’s shoving his tongue inside his mouth just as quickly, tangling with his own as he pressed himself against him. 

Just one faked kiss and now they’re here, eating each other’s faces like they couldn’t get enough of each other. 

“God,” Ohno moaned, biting his lips lightly then pushing him backwards, gasping. “Go, Kazu,” Ohno breathed, pushing him away with one hand while the other he’s using to brace himself on his knees; “Go now before I do something horrible,” 

Hell, what he already did was way horrible than anything Nino could think of now, and yet he wanted it again, for Ohno to get the hell back in here and kiss him again, for his mouth to completely break him down the way he didn’t remember feeling before, but they have a concert to finish and screaming fans to satisfy, and those were enough to at least calm him down. 

He only managed to take one step back before Ohno’s hand was grabbing for his own again, eyes glazed and dark as they met his. 

“Nino,” 

Fuck this. “Just one more,” he murmured, already crowding Ohno and pushing him back this time; Ohno’s mouth was already opened on a moan, meeting him halfway. “Just one,” he whispered, hurriedly, against Ohno’s lips.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two minutes before they go on stage and they’re still here, hidden behind Jun’s very own rack of clothes and kissing each other like there was no tomorrow

Their bandmates are not going to like this. 

Two minutes before they go on stage and they’re still here, hidden behind Jun’s very own rack of clothes and kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. Ohno’s hands were warm against his skin, pulling him close and keeping him steady as the ground beneath them seemed to sway away to the rhythm of Ohno’s tongue inside his mouth, clinging unto Ohno’s shoulder as he kissed him back just as fiercely.

They’d have to part every few seconds to breath, to probably tell the other that they’d have to be on their way before any of the staffs came in looking for them but neither of them seemed to get the idea of separating now as something they ought to consider, their mouths meeting into another frenzied kiss once they’d put enough oxygen into their lungs for another longer kiss. 

“Shit shit shit,” Nino muttered against his lips, teeth scraping over his bottom lip as he kept one hand down the small of Nino’s back, and the other was busy tracing each bump of Nino’s spine; Nino’s own hands were drifting from being wrapped around his neck to grasping his arms, pushing him away and pulling him closer each time he made a move to back away. 

Nino’s mouth was sucking on his chin when he leaned back. “Kazu,” he breathed, taking both of Nino’s hands and kissing each of Nino’s palms, his breathing was thankfully not so different from the way Nino’s gasping as well. “ – we have to go, _god,_ we have to –“ 

Nino didn’t look like he wanted to do anything more than to stay here and make out some more, but of course he did understand that they’d have to be somewhere in –

“Fifteen seconds! Where the hell are Ninomiya and Ohno?!” 

He’s pushing Nino towards the door before he could even think of doing him right then and there. 

“Go!” he half-yelled, breath catching in his throat when he saw the start of a red-purple bruise blooming across Nino’s collarbones in contrast to the pale white skin underneath that of Nino’s shirt; he did that, and oh god, he’s no longer thinking straight, wanting to reach out and put some more of those all over Nino’s body, mark Nino’s skin with his mouth and hands. Fuck. “Shit, Kazu, you have a –“ 

“I’ll see you out there in five,” Nino said, waving him off. “Fuck, I’m hard,” he said as he walked away, like an afterthought. 

He looked down on himself and groaned; he’d need to borrow Jun’s scarf to cover himself too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shower time had always been the perfect time for reflection, at least for Nino.

Shower time had always been the perfect time for reflection, at least for Nino.

It’s quiet and he’s got the shower stall all to himself. He’s bracing himself against the stall’s wall, allowing the wonderful splash of water washed away his thoughts. He’s looking down on himself, watching the way his cock mocked him from where it’s erected in between his legs, throbbing hard against his thighs.

He couldn’t even bring himself to touch it because touching himself meant only one thing, and he’s not that stupid to fall into it, just because he was equally dumb for not stopping kissing Ohno when he knew he shouldn’t even – 

Fuck it. 

He wanted Ohno, of course he did, he’d wanted the older man since his brief stint at the Junior’s stage plays in Kyoto; he grew accustomed to wanting to be close to Ohno when he realized they were going to debut, throwing himself at the older man at every available chance he got since they left Japan to debut in Hawaii. 

And now after 6 years, Ohno somehow ended up taking the first huge step – that one big move Nino’s been afraid to take since then, and pushing him away when he was in the middle of hoping that maybe, possibly, perhaps, Ohno wanted him too, the same way he’d wanted Ohno.

His cock still mocked him, still throbbing almost painfully hard as he turned the heater off, allowed the water to turn a few degrees colder. 

“You better back down because there’s no fucking way you’re going to get what you want tonight,” he told his cock, not even feeling the least bit ashamed at himself for talking to his cock like it’s a different person. “And no, I am not even going to touch you, if that’s what you’re waiting for,” he told it, even thought of slapping it for good measure but thought better of it when he realized he’d have to literally touch it if he was going to slap it. 

“Then can I have the privilege to give it the attention it deserves, if you don’t mind?” Ohno asked from somewhere behind him and he almost brained himself against the shower’s head when he jumped in shock.

He was still gaping, still mostly out of it when he realized Ohno had stepped forward (naked. Naked?!) and pushed him firmly against the stall’s wall. 

“W-What? W-Wait, wait,” he stuttered, his brain’s slowly restarting, while his eyes followed the movements of his Leader’s hands and body as Ohno gracefully knelt down on the floor, one elegant hand wrapping around him at the same time. 

Ohno shook his head and pushed him back when he tried to wriggle free. “I’m going to take care of that,” he said, mouth pointing at his cock, “ – now be quiet and let me,” Ohno said and leaned forward, licking him without preamble that this time, he wasn’t able to keep himself from thrashing his head back until his head hit the wall, hard. 

“Ugh,” 

Ohno hummed around his cock, before he quickly pulled back, his cock bouncing out of his Leader’s mouth with a pop. 

“Shit, Kazu, you’re bleeding!” 

Nino smiled, dizzy, before he blacked out.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was kind of hilarious to watch their bandmates’ faces when he went out of the shower stall naked and arms full of a bleeding and equally naked bandmate.  
  
Aiba was giggling behind his hand, clearly the first one to read the situation. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, keeping his thoughts to himself as Sho fuzzed over them (mostly at Nino) and Jun looking like he’d been trying very hard not to throw up or commit suicide.  
  
The next time he turned, he was met with a flying silver pants courtesy of Matsumoto-san.  
  
“I know that you are indeed very proud of your junk, but could you please stop parading it around like a common pervert?”  
  
Aiba giggled some more. “They’re both still hard,” the taller man commented, stating what was obvious and receiving a death glare from Matsujun.   
  
Sho snickered from where he was rummaging through his first-aid kit bag; Ohno realized that Nino’s lower half had been thankfully been covered with one of Jun’s extra shirts.  
  
“Hey, that’s my shirt!” Jun hollered from the corner at the blinking, newly-awakened Nino.  
  
He was instantly by Nino’s side, ignoring Jun’s cursing and Aiba’s cooing from the background, and reaching over to cup at Nino’s chin.  
  
Nino blinked. “Am I dead?”  
  
Sho stood up straight and aimed a slap across Nino’s head. “If you are, you can bet I’ll revive you just so I can personally kill you for dying on us in the middle of a fucking tour,”  
  
Nino’s shoulder slumped dramatically, his eyes drooping down; Nino looked so cute that his dick started twitching inside his pants – actually Matsujun’s pants – again just by staring at Nino’s face.  
  
“Damn,” Nino muttered.  
  
He and Sho turned to check Nino out. “Huh?” Nino looked up, suddenly looking very sad.  
  
“I thought it was real,”  
  
Sho hushed Nino with a soothing touch over the younger man’s temple. “What was?”  
  
“Oh god,” Jun cried, “I’m not going to stay here for this,”  
  
Aiba beamed. “Let us hear it, Nino-chan!”   
  
“No!” Sho, Nino, Ohno and Jun hollered at the same time.  
  
“Spoil sport,”


	6. Chapter 6

So it wasn’t entirely surprising that Ohno had to be the one to take him home.   
  
Well, technically, it was the cab driver who took them both back to his apartment (but that’s just irrelevant, was it?), with Ohno insisting to stay until the older man was sure he was safely brought in. He actually felt like a girl who had to be walked home after her prom date, but he wasn’t that stupid to mention it out loud in fear of getting laughed in the face for even thinking it.  
  
Most especially because Ohno didn’t seem too fond at talking, as he was looking like he’d been caught in a world of his own all throughout the journey, keeping his thoughts to himself and not even opening his mouth to say something till the cab stopped in front of Nino’s apartment block.  
  
He thought about telling Ohno to just go ahead but the older man surely looked like he wasn’t in the mood to be pushed around, his jaw was set in a grim expression Nino couldn’t quite comprehend.  
  
He’d already managed to find his key when he felt Ohno’s hand grabbing it from him, making it his on-the-spot duty to do most of Nino’s job for him. Then Ohno’s arm was around him, guiding him inside and closing the door behind them quietly.   
  
“Oh-chan, you really don’t have to –“ he started, but was completely cut off when Ohno quietly slid down the floor and kneeled in front of him, fingers reaching down to untie Nino’s shoelaces. Then he’s taking both of Nino’s hands and placing them on top of his shoulders, telling Nino to brace himself on him while he removed Nino’s shoes.  
  
Nino felt silly – blushing to the tips of his toes at Ohno’s sudden act of showing his affections, feeling like a teenager girl who had just been confessed to by her crush. He made to push at Ohno, but his leader was, and always had been stronger than he looked, pushing Nino lightly until Nino ended up backed against his own doorframe.   
  
“Stay put, Kazu,” Ohno said, finishing his task by grabbing at Nino’s house slippers and slipping them on Nino’s feet without bothering removing Nino’s socks, before standing up. “I don’t want you hurting yourself again, okay?”  
  
Nino nodded. “I’m fine now,” he said, keeping his voice steady even though the rest of him was shaking due to Ohno’s sudden close proximity. “You can go ahead and –“   
  
“Stop,” Ohno hissed, almost directly through his mouth and the action made him stumble, gasping for breath when Ohno all but leaned in and pressed an almost sloppy kiss against the corners of his mouth. “Stop, Kazu, just stop,”   
  
He didn’t know what Ohno meant but then he didn’t think it mattered, not when Ohno’s mouth was on his the next time he blinked, kissing him and kissing him.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s almost funny, the way Ohno’s hold around him was so tender, so gentle, like Ohno was afraid he would break if he as much as tightened his hold around him; even his kisses were soft and languid, like Ohno’s trying to reacquaint himself with all of these – like touching him and kissing him meant more than just that.   
  
His shoulder blades hit the doorframe and he winced quietly, whimpered when Ohno all but pulled his mouth away to murmur his apologies into his neck; he didn’t know why it suddenly felt like Ohno was so afraid he’d lose control, that one wrong move might result to him hurting Nino in the process.  
  
Ohno’s fingers touched his shoulders, feather-light, barely-there, his mouth kissing its way down Nino’s chin; Nino felt one of Ohno’s hands creeping behind him, up and up and up, tracing each bump on Nino’s spine tenderly.  
  
“Oh-chan,” he moaned, because Ohno’s mouth happened to find one of his ticklish spots, sucking on the soft patch of skin beneath his ear as Ohno’s hand continued its exploration across his back; using the same hand, Ohno reached up to gently massaged the back of his head, the spot where he stupidly bumped against the wall of the bathroom stall back in the Jimusho.   
  
“Sorry,” Ohno whispered, kissing him quiet again; he felt lightheaded, like Ohno was deliberately trying to calm him, even though his touches always gave the same effect no matter what the situation was. Then without another word, he felt Ohno’s hands left him for a bit before those hands moved to encircle his waist, and Ohno was bending down a little, his hands shifting beneath him. “Up you go,” Ohno whispered, and then he was being lifted up from the floor and up into Ohno’s arms.  
  
“W-Wait, Oh-chan, wait, what are you doing?” he spluttered, arms wrapping automatically around Ohno’s neck as Ohno backed them away from the door, stepping through Nino’s genkan and onto the living room.  
  
His legs wrapping themselves around Ohno’s middle, Ohno shook his head and tugged him down, kissed him full on the mouth, carrying him (thankfully not) bridal style towards his living room. He felt suddenly exhilarated, so precious and fragile as Ohno gently laid him down his battered brown couch before the older man’s body followed, lying on top of him but bracing himself on his elbows, still careful not to crush Nino by his weight.  
  
Nino felt suddenly incredulous, but giddy and well –  
  
“What the hell is up with you?” he asked just as Ohno was about to dip his face again to kiss him; Ohno shook his head and smiled, reached up to brush his bangs away from his eyes. The expression on Ohno’s face was something he couldn’t quite fathom, the overlapping sadness written across Ohno’s eyes had to be one of the most disconcerting thing he’d had to witness all day.  
  
“Nothing,” Ohno said and ducked down to kiss him again, fingers light across his face and his body atop him was even lighter than he would have expected. “Just.. just let me,” he heard the older man murmured when their mouths parted, giving him just a few seconds to breath before Ohno’s mouth was on his again.  
  
He was mostly confused but Ohno’s mouth on his was distracting enough that he found himself kissing the older man back just as softly.


	8. Chapter 8

It should be awkward – it was  _awkward_ – lying on his back on his white couch with Ohno’s body atop him, fingers brushing light touches across his face while they kissed; he couldn’t even bring himself to question why he was allowing this, or why they were doing this in the first place simply because it felt so good to have Ohno’s mouth on his, kissing him softly and touching him reverently.  
  
He’s half-hard and Ohno was too -- he could feel it even through the layers of rough fabric separating them – and he would have wanted to point it out by thrusting his hips up into Ohno’s, but the older man seemed wholly focused into kissing him and kissing him, one hand placed gently against the side of his neck, feeling each shuddery breath he’s taking as Ohno breathed him in, his scent, in return.  
  
“Oh –“ he gasped Ohno’s name in a broken stutter when Ohno brought his attention to sucking his throat lightly, just hard enough for him to feel the pressure, but still light enough to leave any permanent bruises. He’s curling his fingers around the back of Ohno’s neck, tugging lightly at the short hairs and keening when Ohno started nipping his way back up, tracing the line of his jaw with the tips of his tongue.  
  
At this point, Nino was sure he was completely hard, moaning in a mixture of frustration and arousal when Ohno pushed him back firmly against his couch with a hand at the center of his chest when he tried to push himself against Ohno.   
  
“Shhh,” Ohno hushed him and he growled in response, blinking blearily at the older man when Ohno pulled himself upright, up and away from Nino’s squirming body; Ohno hushed him when he moved to follow Ohno, pushed him back down with a teasing smile before Ohno reached behind him to tug at his shirt, pulling it off him and throwing it behind him with a wink.   
  
Ohno’s body was a sight to behold even after so many times seeing Ohno without a shirt (not that he’s seldom looking, but, whatever); his breath was caught in his throat at the sight of Ohno’s toned muscles, of the evenly tanned skin underneath those of Ohno’s shirt. His throat went dry when Ohno’s fingers moved to hover over the button of his jeans, his erection poking through the fabric and effectively distracting him from watching Ohno’s moving fingers instead.   
  
He realized he was making choking noises by the time those dexterous fingers moved down, tracing the line of his own erection through the zipper before his fingers cupped himself, rolling his palm against himself as Nino watched him and his pretty, pretty hand through heavy-lidded eyes.  
  
Ohno was still kneeling above him, his legs trapped in between Ohno’s own while he followed the movements of Ohno’s hand; he’s trying his best not to bolt right up, to take over Ohno’s job for him as Ohno slowly flicked on the button of his pants and tugged his zipper down with the same thorough swiftness, watching him as he watched Ohno and grinning when he all but whined brokenly, balling his fingers tightly at his sides as Ohno’s jeans slowly slid down his hips, revealing his grey-colored briefs.  
  
There was a wet spot forming there, clearly visible against the fabric and the sight itself was enough to snap him into action.  
  
He was up within seconds, briefly seeing Ohno’s lips quirked upwards before he’s leaning in forward and nosing Ohno through his briefs, smelling the fabric detergent combined with the scent of Ohno’s arousal. It’s a heady combination, one that he was sure he wouldn’t forget, breathing the scent in a couple of times before he playfully bit Ohno through the soft fabric, making Ohno whined in response.  
  
Ohno moaned quietly, breath breaking into tiny little gasps when he wasted no time into tugging the waistband of Ohno’s briefs with his teeth, pulling away just a little to blink at the copper-colored tip peeking from the inside.  
  
“God,” he found himself murmuring, the urge to put Ohno’s cock into his mouth was too strong he realized he was shaking, reaching up with one hand to pull Ohno’s briefs all the way down before he’s leaning up, mouth opened in a gasp as he flicked his tongue out and took a little taste.  
  
“Oh,” Ohno moaned right back, hands flying to his hair, sliding down his shoulders as he took him deeper into his mouth, humming happily as he deep-throat him.  
  
“N-Nino,”  
  
Yes, he thought dizzily as he pulled back just far enough to lap at the head of Ohno’s cock, tasting Ohno’s precum and sucking it back in. Oh, fuck, yes.  
  
Ohno moaned and bent his knees, thrusting shallowly with his eyes half-closed and his body taut and trembling.  
  
He’s reaching inside his pants before he even realized that he was, taking his erection into his palm as he kept his mouth open for Ohno’s cock to slip easily down his throat as he fucked his own hand.


	9. Chapter 9

Nino’s mouth took him a little deeper and he groaned out loud, shuddering all over as he bit his lips hard enough that he could taste his own blood against his tongue; but he had to do it if only to keep himself from coming prematurely inside the warm cradle of Nino’s mouth, fingers finding the back of Nino’s neck for support.  
  
 _“N-Ni – nnnggg –“_  
  
He hadn’t really thought about doing this (no, really), especially not after the little accident back in the Jimusho but being here with Nino and with Nino looking so fragile, so beautiful inside his arms made him want to forget everything else, aside from that unsettling urge to touch Nino, to kiss Nino like he hadn’t kissed him before.  
  
He didn’t know if that kiss they shared earlier – the one which they’ve rehearsed countless times before for the concert – was what prompted this thing but for now, he really couldn’t care less.  
  
All that mattered was that he was here with Nino, and everything would have to take a back seat while he enjoyed this precious moment with the younger man.  
  
Nino chose that moment to pull back just far enough to trace the head of his over-sensitized cock with the tips of his tongue and he almost, almost wasn’t able to keep himself from coming right then and there, cursing roughly as he tightly wounded his fingers through Nino’s hair.  
  
“G-God – y-you – t-that –“ he started, and he knew he was babbling incoherently as he pulled himself a good few centimeters away from Nino’s mouth, watching Nino as Nino resolved to licking his own mouth glistening with pre-cum.   
  
He knew they should probably talk about some important things first, but his thoughts were wiped out completely when Nino lifted his face, hazy gaze meeting his.  
  
“Oh-chan, come back here,” Nino moaned, fingers reaching out to grab him by his legs, one hand still wrapped around himself. He’s still licking his lips, still looking at him like he want nothing but to have Ohno’s cock inside his mouth again. “Please, I want your cock – let me suck your cock, Oh-chan,”  
  
It’s dirty but it’s hot and he didn’t think he’d ever want anyone so much as much as he wanted Nino at that moment.  
  
He dropped on his knees in front of Nino and took Nino’s face in between his hands, leaning in to kiss Nino’s lips and moaning as he tasted himself against Nino’s tongue.  
  
“Nino, Nino,” he muttered, delirious, batting Nino’s hands away when Nino reached out to touch him again. “No, please, I want to fuck you – I want to fuck you, Nino,”  
  
Nino was keening, whimpering into his mouth but he was moving quickly to lie on his back, taking him with him.  
  
“Yes please, oh god, fuck me – do whatever you want with me,”  
  
“I will, Nino; oh god, I want to,” He surged upwards and claimed Nino’s mouth again, before he’s pulling back only to shove two of his fingers inside Nino’s mouth.


	10. Chapter 10

It was taking him almost all of his reserved strength not to stumble over the edge too soon, keening and whimpering as Ohno’s hips continued its torturously slow movement from behind him; Ohno’s fingers were tight against his own hips and the older man’s mouth was hot against his skin, their sweaty bodies gliding against each other on top of his favorite white-colored sofa.  
  
He’s bracing himself against the back of his white couch, watching his cock bounced in time with Ohno’s movement through heavy lidded eyes. He couldn’t even bring himself to touch it, just simply watching it and batting Ohno’s wandering hand away when the older man unconsciously reached around to stroke him.  
  
He wanted to come, badly – the desire to end this pleasurable torture was too strong he could barely hold on but he managed to – feeling Ohno’s thick cock slipping in and out of him as Ohno grumbled wordlessly against the back of his neck; it felt so wonderful to have Ohno inside him, Ohno’s hard cock slowly inching deep into him as if this wasn’t the first time they’ve done this, before Ohno slammed himself into him hard enough to rock them both forward.  
  
His cock glistened, his precum seeping out of him like crazy; he’d wiped it with his thumb, jerking at the sensation as Ohno was sucking on his neck, hips never stilling as he’s gingerly touching himself before tugging his hand away.  
  
“Why don’t you keep touching yourself?” Ohno grumbled behind him, resting his chin against Nino’s shoulder while he continued rolling his hips against Nino’s ass. “I’m close, but I’m waiting for you,”  
  
Nino moaned at that, closed his eyes and threw his head back; Ohno’s chin lost its resting place when Nino shifted but it didn’t matter because Ohno was thrusting in again, quickening his movements until Nino’s vision turned white, arching his back and receiving each of Ohno’s thrusts mid-way.  
  
Then Ohno stopped. “I can control myself,” the older man whispered, breath warm and hot against his neck as they both adjusted, the unfamiliar burning sensation of Ohno’s throbbing cock inside him was making the proverbial butterflies fluttering endlessly inside him. “Just tell me if you want it and I’ll give it to you,”  
  
He wanted it but something was holding him back.   
  
He grabbed at Ohno’s hands gripping his hips, licked his lips and turned to face Ohno; Ohno blinked and leaned over to catch his mouth into a soft, inquiring kiss.  
  
He was afraid for this to be over too soon, he’s scared that when he opened his eyes, Ohno would no longer be there to cradle him. He’s afraid of the possibility of this ending before it began and really, how could it be not something to be scared of?  
  
He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again when Ohno reached up to brush his cheeks with sweaty fingers, prompting him to look into the older man’s eyes.  
  
“Kazu, I’m not going anywhere,” Ohno said once he pulled away, his eyes were gentle than ever. “Do you think after this, I can still stay away from you? That’s not going to happen,” Ohno said, tipping their foreheads together even though the angle was somewhat awkward. But it’s them, and no matter what, they always fit together perfectly.  
  
He bit his lips and kissed the tips of Ohno’s nose, not even wondering how Ohno always knew how to read him even when he himself sometimes didn’t know what he was thinking. Maybe, it’s just how it was.  
  
“Promise me,” he told Ohno, quiet and almost begging, his small hands finding Ohno’s own.  
  
Ohno smiled and slowly pulled his cock out, leaving the head pulsing inside his ass; he breathed sharply when Ohno leaned in and tongued at his lower lip, teasing him for a good few seconds before Ohno pulled away.  
  
“I promise,” Ohno stated and rammed back in, hitting his prostate dead on. “I. Promise. Kazu.” Ohno said with each thrust, dragging the head of his cock to that spot inside Nino he didn’t even know he had, screaming so loud as his own cock went rigid and he came without either of them touching him.  
  
Ohno followed him to the edge shortly after.


	11. Chapter 11

Ohno arrived at work the next day wearing the most ridiculous-looking shirt and ripped-on-the-knees jeans he (probably) found on Nino’s wardrobe (because Nino was sure Ohno didn't bother going home to change); the shirt was a little tight and the jeans was two sizes too big, and Nino took note of the fact that Ohno had the ends folded a few times so he wouldn’t accidentally trip on it. He looked absolutely ridiculous that Nino felt this urge to rip the equally ridiculous outfit off of Ohno’s body with his teeth.  
  
But he couldn’t, because aside from the fact that Ohno was already a whisker away from being late, they also weren’t alone. Sho and Aiba came in approximately two minutes after each other, and Jun hurrying after them not a minute later. He’d been there since ten that morning, his manager dropping him off after they were done with the meeting regarding his new drama.  
  
He really didn’t want to leave his bed that morning – fuck if he gave two shits about work when he was blissfully sore and Ohno was snoring lightly against his neck; his manager sure knew he wouldn’t be forced to go out from his apartment and attend the said meeting if he didn’t want to, that was why he probably contacted Julie-san to do the job for him, that bastard.  
  
And really, there wasn’t a single soul in Johnnys who didn’t fear the old, scheming witch and Nino was no exception.  
  
Sore or not, he had forced himself to get up, already missing Ohno’s warmth when Ohno grunted into his pillow, hugging the sheets and looking deliciously disheveled that Nino had to literally bite his lips to keep himself from throwing himself back into the bed and kiss Ohno’s perfect mouth good morning.  
  
Ohno had squinted at him then and made the most adorable face ever, and if Nino thought he’d seen it all, Ohno had to give him another thing to add into his ever growing list of  _‘Reasons why I’m in love with Ohno Satoshi_ ’. But not that he's complaining, because, duh. His chest felt like an overinflated balloon and he was pretty sure he was looking at Ohno like a love-sick puppy, and probably smiling like one, too, before Ohno was prompting him down and puckering his lips for a kiss. He had to give way, couldn’t not when Ohno was so close he could just reach out a hand and touch him, doing exactly that and indulging himself with a few morning kisses before his phone had rung so loud again and spoiled the fun.  
  
He remembered Ohno muffling his laughter against his cheek and pushing him off. He didn’t want to move, knew that he was making embarrassing whining noises against Ohno’s chest, clinging unto Ohno like an over-affectionate koala, but as it was, Ohno knew exactly what to say enough for Nino to revise and re-visit his priorities.  
  
It was painful to say but Nino was pretty sure his and Ohno's top priorities, regrettably, wasn't exactly each other.  
  
“You and Arashi holds almost the same spot in my heart, Kazu,” Ohno had whispered then when it was obvious that he was hesitating – knew that Ohno was able to see the fear on his eyes when Ohno pushed him back to squint at his face. “And so do you, so please, let’s not make each other choose, okay?  _That_  is work and we both know how terribly important it is for us, so go. I’ll see you with the rest of the guys later, yeah?”  
  
He didn’t want to leave but he knew Ohno was right so he kicked his ass back into gear and hopped on the shower, but not before sending a quick message to his manager that he’d be out in a few.  
  
All throughout the meeting, Nino’s head was not in it; he couldn’t even remember how many times his manager had elbowed him in the ribs for not paying attention, but he couldn’t care less. His mind kept on drifting back to the memory of Ohno’s face as he came, to the delicious sound of his name as it slipped out from Ohno’s mouth when he went down on his knees and sucked his leader’s cock repeatedly.  
  
It was terribly frustrating to be somewhere where Ohno wasn’t, and he kept wondering whether it was better to excuse himself and just head back to his apartment – where he hoped Ohno still was, lying naked under his sheets and hugging his pillows like he would hug Nino.   
  
But as it was, work was work and Nino knew he couldn’t just drop everything and go back to his apartment, to satiate this hunger only Ohno would be able to satisfy. He couldn’t because he didn’t want to scare Ohno off with how desperate he already felt knowing that he’s far away from Ohno, that he couldn’t see him when he wanted to.   
  
He’s scared about it himself, about the way Ohno had already fitted himself into Nino’s routine without much effort, and only after one night of spending together; he was too damn scared that Ohno would later change his mind about all this, that he’d probably end up telling Nino that last night was just all a big fucking mistake.  
  
But looking at Ohno now as he came strolling by with a cup of steaming coffee in hand (courtesy of Ohno’s manager, probably) and looking the least like the guy who just spent the entire night fucking his brains out, Nino’s dick was twitching with renewed interest and it didn’t care about his earlier inner battle. His dick also didn’t care that it was supposed to behave around his bandmates that were obviously eyeing him and his (thankfully) loose pants suspiciously.  
  
“Arashi-san, five minutes!” someone said from the doorway and his thoughts was thankfully riveted somewhere else, standing from the couch he had been camping at and heading towards the door as if on autopilot, following the other three as they piled in front of him.   
  
He’s hyperaware of Ohno’s presence that he didn’t even need to look back to know that Ohno chose to follow him, closer than they normally allowed as Ohno’s hand found the small of his back.  
  
“You’re so tense,” was what Ohno managed to whisper, thus making him gasp, thankful that Jun was standing in the front and that Aiba and Sho were somewhat engaged into some deep discussion about killer whales.   
  
“Stop that. Just because there was no time to greet you doesn’t mean I didn’t want to, and that I don’t have any intention to, okay? I’ll make it up to you later so quit making that face and focus on work. Don’t stress yourself over nothing, Kazu, or Matsujun will kill you for it.” Ohno told him in a rush of breath and words, and Nino realized that was probably the longest thing Ohno had said in his life that didn’t come from a drama script, and one more thing Ohno had left for him to ponder about.   
  
But there was no time for that, schooling his features and shoving that excited part of him aside as the AD’s ushered the five of them to the main stage for yet another Arashi performance. 


	12. Chapter 12

He was sure that the others already took notice but no one dared to step forward and ask.  
  
“I think they know,” he said with a gasp, fingers scrabbling for purchase against Ohno’s hips, arching his body in time with the snap of Ohno’s own. Ohno’s on top of him, mouth seeking his and hands bracing himself on either side of his head.   
  
Ohno hummed and started sucking the underside of his jaw. “So?” he asked, sounding distanced, distracted; he groaned and thought that it’s maybe because he was clenching around Ohno, tight and teasing.   
  
He leaned up to lick at Ohno’s chin, wrapped his legs around Ohno’s waist, and effectively stopping him from further moving; he felt full, he felt so open and Ohno’s cock was throbbing deliciously inside him, and goddamit, this was probably how it felt for girls during their very first sexual encounters.   
  
Not that he’s a girl, though.  
  
But he liked it – he fucking loved it – the way he could feel each drag of Ohno’s cock when he pulled himself out, the way Ohno’s hitting that spot inside him he didn’t even know he had until now.    
  
“Just sayin’,” he countered, fighting Ohno with a giggle when the older man tried wriggling himself free out of his koala cling. “Aren’t you worried?” he asked, like an afterthought, absently loosening his legs’ hold around Ohno’s waist.   
  
Ohno started fucking him again, fast and hard, the snap of his hips matching the hitch on his breath. “Why would I be?” he answered, bracing himself up so he could watch him. “Touch yourself for me, won’t you?” Ohno requested, and he’s reaching down before he even realized it, wrapping himself in the heat of his own hand and arching.   
  
“Oh-chan,”  
  
Ohno’s mouth moved to his throat, sucking his pulse point as the snap of his hips became faster, more erratic. “Yeah, just like that,”  
  
“Oh –“  
  
“More,” Ohno commanded and his hand worked on himself as Ohno watched, hips stilling on top of him, his questions left forgotten; but there’s a whole lot of time to bring the matter up again, and for now, Ohno wanted this – they both wanted the same thing, so – “Come for me, Kazu,”  
  
And he did, arching up and spilling himself on his hand, some even escaped and reached Ohno’s belly. He was breathing hard when Ohno started the torture over again, from the start.   
  
“My turn,” Ohno said.  
  
The only thing he could do was whimper.


	13. Chapter 13

This certainly wasn’t how he envisioned his love life would become but at least the sex was phenomenal. The only problem here was…  
  
“It had been two weeks,” Ohno said hurriedly, as he was equally hurried in tugging Nino’s pants the rest of the way and kneeling after he had successfully flipped Nino over. He had his fingers pressing into Nino, already wet with lube, without much preamble and Nino found himself muffling his whimpers against the sleeve of his costume.  
  
“another day and I would have snapped and everyone will know I’m sex-deprived,” Ohno announced, not even giving Nino the privilege to answer when he pressed in. “Fuck, that felt wonderful,”  
  
“Oh-chan,” Nino found his voice, finally, as Ohno maneuvered them around the tiny space, letting him brace himself against that storage’s wall as Ohno rolled his hips behind him. “Oh god, Oh-chan,”  
  
“I know,” Ohno muttered, and he’s reaching to the front to take Nino in hand, “it’s been so long, god, I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold on much longer this time,”  
  
Probably,  but Nino didn’t want him to, anyway; he was bucking back to all of Ohno’s thrusts and he only had half a mind to bite his hand enough to muffle his shouts, the wonderful sensation of having Ohno so deep inside him was wrecking havoc at everything that he knew should make sense.   
  
But common sense be damned, because compared to this, he didn’t think there was anything that would be so much better. Better than the cock slipping in and out of his ass, the head of it gracing his prostate at every movement.   
  
“Harder, Oh-chan,” he found himself muttering, because it’s hard but it wasn’t hard enough, wasn’t deep enough; he could the head of Ohno’s cock almost but not quite brushing where he badly wanted it, and he’s shaking all over with the force of it.   
  
He was reaching for something that was just there, he could almost taste it, he and Ohno both, but Ohno was trying to delay it or something.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you, Kazu,” was what Ohno said, fingers tightening around his hips.   
  
“You won’t,” he was muttering  back, frustration evident on his voice. “but I want it bad and I want it now, Oh-chan, please please please,”  
  
“Fucking shit,” Ohno cursed and that’s that; Nino didn’t even need to be reminded that Ohno was his own personal wet dream brought to life, as Ohno started giving him what he wanted. In the next second, Ohno was pumping his next wild in a way that would make porn stars pale in comparison, deliberately hitting that spot inside Nino they both knew where to find now. Nino knew he was making the filthiest noises but couldn’t find it in himself to care, begging Ohno to fuck him harder, deeper, faster.  
  
“Oh shit, fuck, I’m going to –“ Ohno muttered and Nino just grabbed Ohno’s hand and put it where he wanted it, his hand guiding Ohno’s as he bucked into their joined hands. Ohno’s hips bounced once, twice, and then all Nino felt was the rush of something hot and wonderful as Ohno shoot his orgasm inside his ass.


	14. Chapter 14

It was kind of a normal thing now for Ohno to follow him home everyday after work, him cooking dinner when he felt like it (which was actually, well, always), him and Ohno eating together, showering together and having sex afterwards.  
  
Tonight though, something special had happened so Nino wanted this night to be extra special as well.  
  
“So how was the food?” he asked Ohno, who he specifically instructed to stay still and to not think of doing anything because it was Nino’s turn to do everything.   
  
Ohno hummed and licked his lips, and Nino knew that gesture very well. He ducked down and kissed Ohno hungrily, like a man starving for food and just pulled back to breathe in some air back into their lungs.   
  
Ohno’s mouth, Nino noted, could be so sensitive and so he really should think about how he treated that beautiful thing more, kissing Ohno hard because he didn’t want Ohno’s mouth to always end up swelling after just a kiss, but it’s difficult. Ohno kissed like it would be their last, letting Nino take what he needed and giving Nino back more than Nino could ever hoped to gain.   
Ohno’s cock throbbed inside his ass and he rolled his hips experimentally, just to hear the moans slipping from the back of Ohno’s throat when he did it.   
  
“I asked you about the food, Oh-chan,” he asked, pushing himself up and bracing himself on his knees, leaving just the head of Ohno’s cock inside his puckering hole. “Or are you so out of it to even realize I was asking you something important?”  
  
Ohno growled, low and husky and a touched annoyed, and Nino found himself chuckling.  
  
“Who cares about food when my cock is so hard and it’s halfway inside your ass but you wouldn’t let me bang you like I normally would because you’re being a deliberate tease?” Ohno muttered, scowling and Nino had to, couldn’t not, lean forward to kiss Ohno again.  
  
“I love it when you talk dirty,” he purred, at the same time he let himself drop down, feeling Ohno’s cock slipping all the way in. “Oh god fucking shit, that was, _oh_ , fucking delicious,” he mewled, felt himself shiver at the feel of Ohno’s cock, rock hard and shoved deep into him.  
  
“Kazu, stop with the teasing and let me fuck you properly, please? I haven’t even come once, I need it, god!”  
  
He smirked. “But I want to delay it for a little bit,” he said, rolling his hips and hearing those same growls slipping out from Ohno’s mouth. “I told you today’s special; you’re not supposed to do anything – just lie there and I’ll do all the work,”  
  
Ohno made a face but his hands flew to Nino’s hips, and further down to squeeze Nino’s butt. “I don’t like not doing anything, you know that,”  
  
“Just this once?” he asked sweetly; Ohno blinked at him and tsked.   
  
“I don’t even know what’s so special about today,” Ohno said, more like complained, but he was letting go of Nino’s hips and was leaning back against Nino’s headboard willingly. Nino smiled and re-arranged himself on top of Ohno, before gaining his footing and pushing himself up again in one swift move.  
  
Ohno cursed, his eyes gone wild as Nino started pushing himself up and then dropping back down, bouncing up and down on top of Ohno as Ohno’s hips thrust up to meet Nino halfway.  
  
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Ohno’s cursing took a notch higher, his hips pounding wild against Nino and Nino totally forgot what he was supposed to tell Ohno, meeting Ohno’s thrusts and making lewd noises as he did so. It felt so wonderful, like every nerve-ending in his body were wired directly to his cock as he met Ohno stroke for stroke.  
  
“Shit, Kazu, I’m going to come so hard, you have to slow down or I’m –“  
  
Nino didn’t as Ohno slammed home, hitting his sweet spot dead on and had Nino shouting profanities as he came and came, trembling as Ohno followed him immediately after.


	15. Chapter 15

“So, are you going to tell me what is so special about today?” he asked when his brain was finally working enough to know how speaking works. He was sucking on a cigarette while Nino dozed against him, snuggling like a sated cat.  
  
He nudged Nino by the shoulder when Nino didn’t even as much as shift.   
  
“Oi, didn’t you hear me? I said, are you not going to –“  
  
“I’m leaving for California next month,” Nino cut him off and he felt like his wind pipe had been cut off at the same time, too. He was up within seconds, taking Nino with him and he only had half a mind to throw his still half-lighted cigarette into the waiting ashtray before he’s got his hands around Nino’s shoulders.  
  
“What?! What did you just say?” he growled, angry at how Nino was treating this like a joke; “Do you even fucking know what you’re saying? You’re leaving?! And you fucking think that’s something worth celebrating about?!” he ground out, shaking Nino so hard he was briefly scared he’d break him.  
  
“Oh-chan, no, it’s not like that,” Nino insisted, brows furrowed; he looked like he wasn’t expecting this reaction at all, that his sudden outburst was something Nino hadn’t thought of seeing.  
  
“Fuck, what do you think this is?” he grumbled, ignoring Nino’s attempt at reaching out to touch him because he realized he was already on his feet and grabbing for his pants on the same fucking breath. “You think this is all play? You fucking allowed me into your life, into your bed and then what? You’re going to leave as if this – ah, fuck!” he cursed, angry at himself and at Nino for bringing out the worst in him.  
  
“Satoshi, will you please listen to what I have to say first?” Nino half-yelled but he’s too busy trying not to take a swing at Nino, too busy not to let his tears spill in front of the younger man to go about this the proper way.   
  
God, he couldn’t believe it. It hadn’t even been half an hour since they stopped fucking each other’s brains out and now here he was, racing towards the door as if the devil was after him. Nino was still whining something about a contract, about Eastwood something but he’s too furious to even care.  
  
Of course he knew this day would come, that one fucking offer from some American asshole would be the end of Arashi because that was all Nino’s plans. All of them knew about Nino’s desire to go abroad, and he was pretty sure Nino wouldn’t even bat an eye if he was asked to leave just to fulfill those dreams he had since he was young.  
  
“Fuck you and your American dream!” he yelled, didn’t even bother tugging his shirt on as he went straight to the door, picked up his shoes and slammed the door behind him so hard he thought Nino’s apartment would end up crumbling into dust the minute he got out.


	16. Chapter 16

He ended up in front of Jun’s apartment door, fuming and possibly seconds away from kicking the door open in rage.  
  
Luckily for Jun’s poor, innocent door, its owner possibly sensed its impending doom and was quickly there to the rescue, opening it with a scowl.  
  
“Jun, there’s something I need to –“ he said, or at least that’s the plan, to talk to Jun immediately about Nino’s abrupt change of heart, leaving them behind just to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a Hollywood actor.   
  
But he wasn’t able to, because the next time he opened his mouth, he was met with a fist hitting him in the face.  
  
“Ouch, hey!”  
  
Jun was swinging his arm again and it’s only because of his (thankfully) seldom trips to the gym that he was able to dodge the next hit, but just barely.  
  
“Hey!”  
  
Jun tried hitting him one more time and only gave up when he was able to dodge it, too.   
  
“I know you’re stupid, Leader, but I never thought you’re _that_  stupid, really,” Jun told him, voice laden with so much annoyance that Ohno wondered what he did. Then he realized what he came here for.   
  
“Why am I the stupid one when it’s Nino who was actually –“  
  
“Going to California to shoot an American-produced Japanese movie, for three months, and then will come back after it’s done,”  
  
He was openly gaping when Jun’s words finally sunk in. “Three. Months?”  
  
“Three,” Jun nodded, still visibly annoyed. “But you wouldn’t know that, of course, because instead of letting the brat explain, you stormed off. So mature,” Jun told him mockingly.  
  
He visibly wilted. “I thought – I thought he was – I thought it was –“  
  
“Well you thought wrong,” Jun told him dismissively, “so now that you know that Nino’s not going to leave  _us_  – _you_  – behind, please go away. It’s way past my bedtime and I need to be on set by five tomorrow morning,” Jun told him, muffling his yawns behind his palm.  
  
He blinked. “Wait, how did you know I came here for that? Did Nino –“  
  
“Yes, he called the three of us and explained what happened, because he already anticipated this, that you’d go straight to either one of us to bitch, so, yeah,”  
  
He felt suddenly ashamed of himself. He looked down, nibbling on his lower lip as he was staring at his shoes.   
  
“It’s perfectly normal to feel upset, Leader,” Jun told him, his voice sounded a lot softer now, indulging even. “and because we know how important Nino is to you now, especially now, but –“ his eyes widened at this but he figured that the thing between him and Nino wasn’t something they could hide from their bandmates forever, not that they planned on hiding it, but, oh well. “It’s work, you know? More than anyone else, Nino trusted you to understand him now more than ever. Arashi is important to him,  _you_  are important to him, but so is this – Nino waited a very long time for this, isn’t it just right we stay behind him and support him all the way?”  
  
God, he was an idiot. A first grade idiot at that. Wasn’t he the one who told Nino before about the importance of Arashi? But even after saying that, he went and did this, this idiocy that should earn him more than a couple of smacks in the head.  
  
“I’m an asshole,” he admitted in a tiny voice and heard Jun’s answering chuckles before he felt Jun’s fingers ruffling his hair. “No really, I’m a certified asshole; damn it, I should be hit repeatedly for doing that to Nino,”  
  
“Well, I would have hit you myself but I’m too tired and Ninomiya might kill me if you ended up bruised and limping, so, let him do the beating and tell him I’m just cheering him on,”  
  
He looked up and smiled at his youngest friend, tiptoed and pressed a kiss against Jun’s cheek.  
  
“Thanks, Jun-chan,” he told the other man, and pulled away. “I owe you one,”  
  
Jun chuckled and pointed. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you forget this. Now go and fuck the remains of your day off for all I care, and you will forgive me if I will never utter those words, ever again. Just tell Ninomiya I don’t have to know the other details of how you plan to make up because I love my sleep and I don’t want to lose it by having nightmares about you two. Now bugger off, take care on your way to Nino and goodnight!” Jun said, closing the door in his face.  
  
He grinned and marched away.


	17. Chapter 17

“He didn’t call me, Nino-chan, so maybe, I don’t know, he went to Sho-chan or Jun-chan?”   
  
He sighed. He tried calling Sho but at this hour, he was sure the older man had either turned his ringer off or he was still out doing research. He was only marginally lucky that the other three were still awake when he called them earlier, about a few minutes after Ohno stalked off like the devil was after him.  
  
“Don’t worry so much, okay?” he realized Aiba was speaking again, though he sounded like he was vainly trying to keep himself from falling asleep, “I’m sure Leader will – hey, don’t touch that or you’ll be sorry!” Aiba half-shouted, and Nino was sure he heard someone giggled from the background, and the sound of a very familiar laughter followed afterwards.  
  
He rolled his eyes. “Please tell Becky-chan to stop leaving prints on your skin, Aiba-chan,” he told his oldest friend, getting a huff of laughter in return.   
  
“Okay Nino-chan! Just, don’t stress yourself too much, okay? I’m sure Leader will realize how gravely wrong he was and he’d make sure to apologize properly for it, just keep your fingers crossed. And you –“ Aiba said, but before he could even say anything more, Nino already ended the call.  
  
He stared at the door where Ohno passed through a couple of hours ago, scowling with how frustratingly annoyed he was with Ohno.  
  
“Didn’t even let me explain,” he muttered, though he couldn’t help but wonder if he would have reacted the same way if it was him. “What kind of guy does he take me for? He doesn’t even know how hard it would be for me, he’s not even the one who’s going to go away and will spend the rest of the fucking weeks without – ugh, what an idiot,” he grumbled, then paused when he heard the sound of the doorbell ringing.  
  
He was up on his feet within seconds.  
  
+++  
  
Honestly, knocking Nino’s door at three o’clock in the goddamn morning shouldn’t be as hard as it was now, because well, he’s used to it. There were times when he missed Nino so much that he found himself tiptoeing out from his parent’s house if only to go see Nino, but this time was different.  
  
He was not even sure what to say to Nino, how to apologize for the behavior he had shown earlier but he couldn’t just go home like this. He had to see Nino, beg him if need be to forgive him, for being a royal jackass and for running off like a total girl.  
  
“Hi, Nino,” he mumbled under his breath, knew that he looked nothing but a certified retard, talking to the door and rehearsing his apologies before he faced Nino. “I’m – I’m – fuck, why is this so hard?” he grumbled, mentally smacking himself upside the head. “Nino, I – I’m –“  
  
The door opened abruptly, and Nino’s voice was calling him even before his face came into view. “Oh-chan? Is that you?”  
  
He froze. “Um.” Damn it, what was that he was supposed to say again?  
  
Nino wasn’t moving and so was he; they were simply staring at each other, looking like they were sizing each other up but he knew better. Nino was waiting, while he was trying to dig his brain for the apologies he knew he needed to say but couldn’t.  
  
It sure felt like he had swallowed his tongue, but the urge to grab Nino and hug him so tight was too strong he thought he was going to stumble with the force of it, biting his lips and making tiny sounds from the back of his throat as Nino stared at his face.  
  
“Damn it,” Nino cursed and stepped forward, arms stretched and said, “Come here, Oh-chan,”  
  
He didn’t have to be told twice as he let his feet drag him forward, knew that Nino was there to catch him as he stumbled into Nino and buried his face into the crook of Nino’s neck.


	18. Chapter 18

“I came here to apologize,” he murmured, distracted; because really, that was his sole purpose when he came back here, wasn’t it? To apologize to Nino for being a major dick but. “I should apologize,” he said, moaning afterwards because Nino was humming in response and he swore his dick twitched in counter to the vibration of Nino’s voice as Nino sucked him hard.  
  
Ten minutes ago, he was right outside of Nino’s door, contemplating whether knocking and letting Nino know he was there was the right way to go, even though he was so ashamed of himself and he would have considered calling the cavalry for help if not for the fact that he didn’t want an audience if he was going to apologize. And that was the plan, really it was, but right now, his brain had somewhat just short-circuited on its own without him realizing it.  
  
And this, seriously, was all Nino’s fault.  
  
He was backed against Nino’s doorframe, moaning like a dog in heat as Nino alternated between licking the slit of his cock and swallowing his balls, Nino’s mouth was so slick, so wet, so hot that everytime Nino swallowed him down, he felt like he was slowly being lit on fire. Nino’s hands were tight around his hips, his fingernails digging uncomfortably into his skin but he couldn’t care less; not when Nino as Nino kneeled on the floor, perched in between his spread legs and literally devouring his cock like a starving man.  
  
“K-Kazu –“ he called, tugged at Nino’s hair if only to take Nino’s attention away from his cock-sucking, however frustrating it would be to lose Nino’s amazing mouth around him. “Kazu, hey, c-can you – w-wait, hey,”  
  
Nino pulled back only to glare up at him, annoyance curling at the edges of his mouth. There’s sticky drool dripping down Nino’s chin, watching dazedly as Nino’s tongue flicked out to lick it away and fuck if it wasn’t deliberately done to tease him. Damn Kazu and the annoyingly arousing faces he makes, damn it damn it damn it.  
  
“What am I waiting for?” Nino bit back, sounding annoyed, if anything, and he would have believed it if he wasn’t lowering his lashes and he was biting his lips hard as if he was waiting to be pushed away. As if he would even think of doing that, most especially after that stupid stunt he did a few hours ago.   
  
He released the breath he realized he was holding and reached down to touch Nino’s cheek, flushed and heated as he curled his palm against it.   
  
“Aren’t you going to let me apologize first?” he asked, softer this time; he lowered his head, briefly wishing he could drag Nino up so they could do this properly, the apologizing thing, because seriously, it was hard not to think of anything else what with how red and puffy Nino’s mouth was and how dangerously close it was from his still throbbing cock.   
  
Nino gave him a look and it might have been intended to be anything but fondly exasperated but it honestly seemed like it, watching Nino shaking his head as Nino ran his fingertips along the length of his bare legs.  
  
Nino ducked down then to finger the hem of his jeans now pooling around his feet, huffing a little and then surprising him yet again by quickly leaning in forward to kiss place two soft kisses over the head of his cock.  
  
“Apologies are for stupid people, Oh-chan,” Nino muttered, licking the length of him and making lewd sounds as he did so. Then Nino was lifting his face, watching him as he watched Nino part his mouth wide, letting the wide crest of his cock as it slipped in between Nino’s small mouth.  
  
He gasped sharply at the feel of that amazing heat surrounding him, only to whine in frustration when Nino drew away, but only to whisper,  
  
“But okay, if you really want to apologize,” Nino mumbled, curling his fingers along the base of his cock, pumping him softly, “Do it by fucking me,” Nino said, more like mewled, flicking his tongue over and around his leaking tip. “Hard, and don’t you dare stop until I tell you so,”  
  
He was grabbing Nino by the shoulder and pulling him up, mashing their mouths together before Nino could even let another word out.


	19. Chapter 19

“Three months,” he ground out, fingers stilling inside Nino’s ass and pouting. Nino let out a string of curses, bracing himself up on his elbows and staring down at him as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, or the fact that he was still pretty coherent despite the fact that he's got his fingers buried in Nino's ass, and his cock aching to be shoved in place of said fingers, too.  
  
“What?”   
  
He leaned down and licked a wet, long line from the base of Nino’s cock to the tip, rolling the pad of his tongue over Nino’s leaking tip; Nino groaned, low and husky and so very turned-on as he sucked the head into his mouth before letting it out with a wet pop. “Jun-kun told me you’d be gone for three months, is that true?”  
  
Nino blinked at him, then groaned, frustrated as he let his head hit the pillow with a thump.   
  
“Oh-chan,” Nino whined, “can’t we talk about this later? It’s – it’s fucking ruining the mood, like really,”  
  
He braced himself up on one arm as he crooked his fingers inside Nino, watching Nino arched from the bed while moaning.   
  
“I might forget,” he said, slipping another finger in and watching Nino intently as he did so. “So I’m asking you now while I – fuck, why are you still so tight?” he asked, his fingers on Nino’s ass taking his attention to the issue at hand.   
  
“Shut up and fuck me now, oh my god, I’m going to –“ Nino mewled, breathless, the flush on his chest was beautiful as was the red on his cheeks. Nino’s cock was heavy and pulsing in between his legs, as was his own, and Nino’s body was strung tight like a bow.  
  
“Kazu, I –“ he said, or at least started to but it’s difficult to come up with anything sensible to say when his brain cells seemed to have decided to focus their attention on one sole purpose, mainly to fuck the shit out of Nino until they could no longer move.  
  
Nino wailed then, his voice high-pitched and raspy and it was only then he realized he was still moving his fingers inside Nino, knuckles-deep and brushing Nino’s prostate in the process. Nino’s neck was arched as was his back, his hips rolling to the rhthym of his fingers fucking Nino’s ass.  
  
“Enough, enough!” Nino wailed, tugging at his hand, his shoulders, any part of him Nino could get his hands on; Nino was trembling all over, and he was gasping by the time he was able to get on top of Nino, his mouth on Nino’s and sucking Nino’s tongue while Nino one-handedly rearranged himself to accommodate him, parting his legs wide and lining his cock against Nino’s twitching hole.  
  
“Oh god, Kazu, oh my god,” he moaned into Nino’s mouth, and at this point even he was vibrating with so much adrenaline, his anticipation building hot and fierce around his belly. Nino kept one hand around the back of his neck, fingers tight in his hair as they moaned in each other's mouth, kissing each other hungrily.  
  
“Yes, yes,” Nino whispered, leaning up to bite the underside of his ear as he positioned himself on top of Nino, lining their bodies together perfectly. They’ve done this a lot of times for him to be able to maneuver without having to look down, felt the tell-tale warmth of Nino’s body as the head of his cock bumped against the crest of Nino’s ass.  
  
“Please, Oh-chan, ah, please –“ Nino begged and he was reaching up to cup Nino’s jaw, kissing Nino again as he pushed in, slow at first, letting the burn subside as Nino arched and writhed beneath him. "Move, fuck, move now, Oh-chan!"  
  
"I don't --" he paused, kept himself still because he didn't want to hurt Nino no matter how much he wanted to just shove into that perfect heat, mouthing at Nino's collarbones and feeling the heels of Nino's toes digging into the small of his back. "Ah, shit, Nino --"  
  
"Satoshi, come on! Come on, I'm not going to break, just get the fuck on already!"  
  
He gritted his teeth and leaned down to bite Nino's chin gently, pulling himself up and sitting on his hunches before grabbing at one of Nino's legs and throwing it across his shoulder for leverage.  
  
Then he was pistoning his hips, rolling it forward that the movement took him deeper into Nino's body, groaning at the too hot feel of his cock as Nino's muscles clenched tightly around him.  
  
He thrust forward, then pulled back until what remained buried inside Nino's ass was the head of his cock, his stomach twisting at the overwhelming rush of sensation when Nino all but wailed and reached to clutch at his arms, mewling when he repeated the action a few more times.  
  
"Oh god, oh fuck that -- Satoshi -- Oh-chan, ah there, shit oh please!"  
  
Nino clenched around him again and he knew he was not going to last long this time. So he just went ahead with what his body's obviously after, head spinning as his orgasm built too fast, too soon. Nino was clutching at his sheets like his life depended on it, mouth parted and gasping. He knew he might hurt Nino, what with the way he's fucking Nino now as if he was never going to again, his cock hitting the end of Nino's body with every thrust. But Nino didn't seem as if he minded the rough play, not at all, keening and moaning his name everytime he was bucking his hips and watching Nino's cock bouncing against the younger man's abdomen every fucking time.  
  
"Nino, Nino --"  
  
Nino gasped as if he couldn't breathe, eyes shutting close and wailing his name as he arched from the bed and came just like that. And then the previous tightness became twice as tight, felt Nino clenching around him so hard he was seeing stars, his hips bucking wildly as he fucked Nino through his orgasm.  
  
"Oh god!" he yelled, and at that point everything dissolve in a burst of light behind his eyelids, his fingers gripping Nino's hips so tight he knew he'd leave marks, his hips stuttering, balls smacking against Nino's ass as his orgasm broke into the surface, tearing everything in its wake until the only thing that remained was  the feel of his cock pulsing inside Nino's ass as he poured every single drop of his pleasure inside Nino's body.


	20. Chapter 20

His hips stuttered its last attempt at riding out his pleasure, before he found himself slumped face first against the dip of Nino’s neck, nuzzling Nino’s damp skin with his nose. He was still buried inside Nino’s body, feeling too sated and lazy to move as Nino hummed, his warm breath tickling the side of his face.  
  
“ _God damn it_ , that was – that was probably one of the best yet,” Nino cursed, voice sounded high-strung and hoarse; well, he couldn’t exactly blame Nino, not when he himself felt like his brain was reduced to a puddle and he’s having trouble keeping his vision straight. Shit.  
  
“I can’t feel my thighs,” he complained, though he knew he was mostly being ignored because Nino was trying to push him off, murmuring something about not being able to breathe. “Huh?”  
  
“Get off me, I said,” Nino huffed, and they both gasped when he had managed to pull himself away from Nino -- arms, face and cock – absently reaching down and knotting the condom with trembling fingers, tossing it carelessly aside and not even bothering looking where the thing landed before he was collapsing back to the bed next to Nino.  
  
“Are you mad?” he asked, more like mumbled, hesitantly; he didn’t bother unburying his face from where he had it mashed against Nino’s pillow, smelling the familiar scent of Nino’s cologne, combined with a little sweat and sex.  
  
He felt a finger poking his cheek, his ear, the side of his jaw. “Why would I be?”   
  
Oh well. “You have all the right to be,” he said, “I was a jerk,” he admitted, albeit sheepishly. Well, there was no other way to put it, anyway. He had been a jerk, more than he would have dared to admit but.   
  
“God, stop being so melodramatic,” Nino whined, feeling a light cuff across his head before Nino shifted closer, fingers moving to cup his face, coaxing him out from his hiding. “Hey, what is this all about?”  
  
“I am so ashamed of myself, you have no idea,” he said, pouting; “I don’t even know how you put up with me, I’m so stupid,”  
  
“Maybe it’s because I love you, you dumb ass,” Nino countered, rolling his eyes. “stop that, okay? We’re okay now, we’re cool, alright? Don’t ruin the moment, jeez.”  
  
“But you’re leaving,” he found himself muttering, letting his fingertips grazed the stretch of soft skin across Nino’s thighs. “I don’t want you to leave,”  
  
Nino made a sound that was part-amused, part-exasperated, mouth pressed against the skin of his throat. “Is that what this is all about? Because you don’t want me to go?”  
  
“I’m going to miss you,” he whined, knew that if anything, he sounded like a pathetic puppy seeking warmth. But to hell with it because Nino leaving meant he’d have no one to hold like this, no one to kiss and touch and fuck and –  
  
“We’ll fuck like crazy the night before I have to go, alright?” Nino told him, and he could tell by the sound of Nino’s voice that he was trying his hardest not to laugh at his apparent stupidity. “God, if that’s the only thing you were going to miss then –“  
  
“I’m going to miss  _you_ , I did say that, didn’t I?”   
  
Nino leaned up to kiss his chin. “Three months isn’t very long,”  
  
“Oh god, it  _is_  very long,” he mocked, but he was ducking down to catch Nino’s mouth, kissing those lips because he could.   
  
“You’re being clingy,” Nino told him, without heat, “I kind of like it,”  
  
He snorted and did his best to look as put out as he would have wanted but then he saw Nino’s face, the way Nino was regarding him fiercely though his gaze was soft around the edges, was enough for his heart to continue skipping.   
  
Damn it.  _“Oh god_ ,” he groaned, “oh god,”  
  
“What? What?”  
  
He shook his head but apparently, it wasn’t enough to erase the sudden realization away, looking at Nino’s face and wondering how in the world he ended up so fucking in love with Nino without him even realizing it.   
  
Well he knew he loved Nino – he’d been so familiar with the feeling now that it almost felt as easy as breathing but knowing that somehow, he loved Nino more than he thought he did was surprising all on its own.   
  
Nino’s hands were warm against the sides of his face, as he held Nino’s gaze for a few seconds before he was moving so quickly to hug Nino tight. Everything felt a little too much, and he could feel the way his chest was pounding hard against Nino’s, mirroring that of Nino’s own.  
  
“God, why is this so painful?” he muttered into Nino’s neck, his voice miserable. Nino’s arms were around him, anchoring him down but it still felt like it wasn’t enough.   
  
“What is?”  
  
“My heart,” he put in, lamely, as Nino froze for a few seconds before he was struggling to push him off lightly, his face masked with worry.   
  
“What about your heart?” Nino asked, fingers stroking soft brushes across his naked chest. “Hey, what about it?”  
  
He ducked down, flushing. “I think it’s out to kill me,” he said, groaning. “I realized  _I love you so much_  and I don’t think my heart is strong enough to take it,”   
  
“Oh my god, seriously?” Nino gaped probably for a full minute before he began cracking up, puffs of laughter spilling out from Nino’s mouth as his body rocked along with it.   
  
Great. Now he ended up being Nino’s laughing stock.  
  
He scowled. “Oh alright,” he pouted, even did his best to pull away but Nino’s hands were instantly there, tugging him right back. Before he could even begin to protest, Nino was swinging his legs and pushing him back down on the bed as Nino promptly sat over his legs.  
  
“God, you are such as an idiot,” Nino commented, rolling his eyes to the heaven in mock exasperation. Nino was also pressing his knuckles against his cheek, his touches as gentle as the look on his eyes.   
  
“I get it,” he said, still pouting, “This shouldn’t mean anything since we were just fucking,” he said, “Maybe it is for you, but not for me because –“  
  
“I’m in love with you too, you moron,” Nino cut in, smiling a little, his voice shaking albeit the fact that he was pretty much trying to look like he was in control. “Why do you think I let you fuck me whenever you want to?”  
  
He knew he looked just as confused as he feel. “Because I’m good at fucking?”  
  
Nino cuffed him lightly. “Conceited much?” Nino said, rolling his eyes; then, like an afterthought, “Seriously, you think I just like the way you fuck me? If you seriously think that, then I’m pretty sure there is something gravely wrong with your brain,”  
  
“Then if it’s something else, shouldn’t you at least think of informing me about it?!” he snapped, though he could feel himself harden at the way Nino was wriggling on top of him, trying vainly to ignore the warmth of Nino’s bony thighs pressed against his own but it was difficult.  
  
“I thought you knew!” Nino returned, mouth upturned. “How the hell would I know you thought otherwise? We fuck almost everyday, and I cook you dinner and stuff and you think I just – god, this is so stupid,”  
  
He held on to Nino’s hips and asked, “So, you love me?”  
  
“Yes,” Nino confirmed, his face completely pink. “And now I’m wondering why that is the case,”   
  
He smirked, pulled himself upright so he could kiss the underside of Nino’s jaw, the mole on his chin. “Don’t take it back, brat,” he said, “I’m not going to let you,”  
  
Nino hummed, “Please don’t,” said Nino, countering himself in the process but he didn’t care, and it sure looked like Nino didn’t either.  “because I really, really like it. Being with you is the best ever – well, maybe not when you were stupidly pissed and had walked off without letting me explain my side, but all in all, I think being in love with you is the best. Please don’t make me say that again,”  
  
He laughed and kissed Nino, soft and tender. “Well, I love you too,” he said, “and that pretty much summed up what I also feel about you so, we’re even?”  
  
Nino kissed him back. “Not if you’re not up for second round,” Nino teased.  
  
He ground up and let Nino decide it for himself, the way his cock was so hard, bumping against Nino’s thighs, it wasn’t that hard to tell that he was more than ready.  
  
“Oh,”  
  
Yes. “Well,” he smiled, smug and happy.  
  
“Shall I lie on my back or –“  
  
He touched Nino’s face. “I love you,” he said, “And I want you to ride my cock, since you’re already there,”  
  
“I love you too,” said Nino, “and only if you say ‘please’”  
  
He smiled, licked his lips and whispered, “Please?”  
  
Nino pounced, mouth meeting his into a fiery kiss that he answered with equal fervor.   
  
He’d think about those other things later, but for now, he had to take good care of Nino.   
  
Thoughts be damned.


End file.
